The Thing About Discipline...

The thing about discipline is.....sometimes it keeps you from what you really want to be doing.  Things like reading the "just for fun, doesn't make you think too hard" book that you've been wanting to read for ages.  Or playing the cool, brand-new, still wrapped in plastic board game you received as a Christmas gift.  Or even writing a great blog post that actually contains something of substance.  

But, discipline can also pull you along into places you wouldn't otherwise have visited.  Places like the kitchen, late at night, where you laugh with your husband over the day's absurdities.  Or the laundry room for a quick check-in with your eldest, that turns into the best conversation you've had with her in weeks.  Or even the deserted living room of an early morning, where you cry out and praise and seek forgiveness in an extended, long-overdue, heart-to-heart with God.

Discipline might keep me from the things I want, but so far it is giving me something even better.  It's giving me the things I need.

Family Dynamics or 1+1+1= Chaos

Big D and I have been blessed with three great kiddos.  Sweet E is an eight year old who is the perfect mix of girly-girl and tomboy.  She loves her ballet classes and swoons over beautiful dresses, but she's also working on learning to use her brand new compound bow (with real arrows...yikes!) and her last birthday party was a fishing/explore the woods party.  Sweet E is a typical first-born; high-achieving and a people pleaser.  She keeps her emotions (excitement, fear, hurt, sadness, nervousness) close to her chest.

Middle E is an almost five year old boy who loves Legos, football, and anything and everything his daddy is doing.  He prefers to not get dirty or sticky.  He has just reached that "curious about how everything in the world works" phase, and he comes up with some amazing questions.  He is very dramatic, feels everything intensely, and has a very sensitive heart.  Those three things combined make him the polar opposite of his sister, and also make him a conundrum to Big D.  Middle E and I have a lot of long conversations and discussions.

Little E is a natural-born risk taker with the decision making skills of a two year old little boy.  He routinely does something that makes my heart freeze momentarily.  Climbing, jumping, running, running, running...he wears us all out.  He makes us all laugh a lot and is quick to give a hug or kiss.  Little E is a tough guy; he rarely cries, so if we hear him crying we know it is serious.  He has no clue that he is younger than his siblings.  If they are doing it, then he thinks he can do it, too.  He is tenacious and ornery and thinks his way is best...in other words, he is two and he is all boy.

Three wonderful children.  Three very different personalities.  Three different sets of wants and needs.  That is the hard part of parenting for me.  Not the physical "make their meals, wash their clothes, pick-up their toys, help them bathe" work.  For me that is repetitive work doesn't require a lot of my brain power.  It just plain needs done.  The hard part for me is making my home be a place that is loving, supporting, and nurturing to three kids who need to be loved, supported, and nurtured in very different ways.  I'm working to figure out how to make my home a peaceful place when such opposites are in such close proximity all day long.  In the meantime, I love on them and teach them to respect their siblings' differences.  And for now, I think that works.

Twelve months of...discipline??

I planned on waiting until New Year's Day to share the rough outline of my One Word for 2012, but I am just too excited to keep it all to myself!  Before starting this One Word journey, I would have agreed that spending a year of my life dedicated to discipline sounded like pure torture.  But, after all the hours (yes, hours) of time I've put into thinking about this, I'm convinced my experiences this upcoming year will be as far from torture as I could imagine.  In fact, I think they will be thrilling!

I have been out of the "normal" working world for more than eight years.  Not that I haven't worked; just not in a regular nine to five, get evaluated by a boss, set professional goals every year kind of job.  And, I've been at home full time for more than five of those eight years.  That has been a huge blessing for me and for my family, but it hasn't really kept me in the habit of making and tracking progress on goals.  I think that is what I am most excited about; setting goals and setting up people (my husband, aka Big D, and a close friend) to keep me accountable.

Here it is, folks.  A very rough outline of what aspect of discipline I will be focusing on each month.  Maybe seeing this will get the wheels turning in your head so you can find the perfect One Word for the next twelve months of your life.

• January - Discipline in time with God
• February - Discipline in marriage
• March - Discipline in relationships with children
• April - Discipline in homeschooling
• May - Discipline in finances
• June - Discipline with time/commitments
• July - Discipline in health
• August - Discipline with discipleship
• September - Discipline with housework/organizing
• October - Discipline in friendships
• November - Discipline in giving thanks
• December - Discipline in my priorities

So, that's the sketch of my 2012 through the lens of discipline.  What do you think?  Does discipline look a little more interesting now?  

My One Word for 2012

Have you heard about One Word?  Different people do it different ways, but the here's the simple explanation: think about what you want to accomplish in the next year and pick a word that will help you shape everything you do to accomplish your goals.  Doesn't it sound simple?  Easy, even?  It was pretty excruciating for me, but I think that is because I did it backwards.  I spent a bunch of time figuring out my word, and I am still working on setting up goals to ensure that the next year of my life lives up to my One Word.  There might be less strain on your brain if you had a few general goals in mind.  Then use those goals to help you search for the One Word that is going to define your life for the next 365 days.

Does that sound dramatic?  Good.  Because I think my One Word will bring some significant changes to my life.  Not necessarily all at once.  I'm picking One Word to shape an entire year, remember?  The changes will probably be subtle in the beginning.  But I'm hoping they will add up as the months go by, so that when I look back over 2012, there will be something in my life that is considerably different.     

My One Word for 2012 is:

discipline.  

(I made it a nice calm green color because when I typed it out in black it looked so harsh and unforgiving.)

It might seem like an odd choice; a boring choice; a very un-fun choice.  Not for me.  I'm excited!  I see the possibilities of this word guiding my year, and it makes me nearly giddy.  I'm planning out a focus for each month.  A way to apply this word to a different part of my life with each turn of the calendar page.  I'll share soon.  

Want to join me?  Sure you do.  We feel better when we have a purpose to our days and a focus for our time.  Set some goals.  Pick a word.  Make a plan.  Be ready for a change.